Couples Therapy

WHY COUPLES THERAPY?

Couples therapy is often perceived as something necessary only for relationships already in serious trouble, seemingly destined to fail. However, taking a proactive stance towards couples therapy can actually help ensure a long and healthy partnership by allowing couples to refine their communication and connection skills. Addressing significant issues early on can also increase the likelihood of resolving them in therapy before negative feelings take root.

Many couples encounter hardships in life, and seeking therapy can provide valuable support in navigating these challenges together. Couples therapy is not solely reserved for times of crisis, such as a breakup or major life change. It can also be beneficial in managing recurring conflicts or addressing underlying issues. Relationships are akin to gardens; they require ongoing care and nurturing to flourish. Often, couples may ignore their issues, hoping they will disappear only to have them resurface later, potentially causing greater problems.

While many couples believe they can handle relationship problems independently, this approach is not always effective and can sometimes exacerbate issues. Although some conflicts can be resolved within the relationship, if you find yourselves stuck in repetitive arguments without resolution, it may be time to consider seeing a couple’s therapist.

Couples therapy is designed to assist couples of all kinds in recognizing and resolving conflicts while improving their relationships. Through therapy, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding and strengthening your partnership, or navigating separate paths. It provides a safe, controlled environment for partners to discuss challenging topics, such as infidelity, where both individuals can feel secure and supported. A skilled couples therapist remains impartial, not aligning with either partner. Whether you are the one who betrayed trust or the one who was betrayed, couples therapy should offer acceptance and understanding to both. A therapist can guide each partner through the healing process while also attending to the needs of the relationship. Kathryn utilizes two separate methods of therapy: The Gottman Method and/or EFCT. Both methods are explained below:

THE GOTTMAN METHOD

After years of extensive training and dedication, Kathryn achieved certification as a Certified Gottman Therapist. The Gottman Method stands as a world-renowned, evidence-based framework revolutionizing the improvement of marriages and relationships. Drawing from 40 years of research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, The Sound Relationship Theory serves as the guiding framework, providing specific tools to fortify every aspect of the relationship "house."

These interventions stem from the Gottman's close study of relationship "masters," focusing on what truly works in fostering strong connections. According to Gottman, the friendship system forms the core of an intimate relationship, serving as the foundation of the relationship "house." Each level of this metaphorical house represents key interdependent components. To learn more about the Gottman Method, just click the link below.

Utilizing "evidence-based assessments," Kathryn precisely pinpoints areas requiring immediate attention. She collaborates with couples to navigate conflicts, teaching effective approaches for tackling both solvable and perpetual issues as they demand distinct strategies. The ultimate goal is the enhancement of friendship alongside conflict management. In essence, cultivating greater appreciation, passion, and intentional time together forms the secret sauce for creating shared meaning, ensuring the relationship remains resilient in the face of future challenges.

Some of the relationship issues Kathryn is trained to address include:

• Affair recovery
• Emotionally distant couples, living parallel lives
• Difficulties after the birth of a baby or other major adjustments
• Intimacy issues and pornography concerns
• Parenting problems
• Difficulty with in-laws

Even couples with “normal” levels of conflict benefit from the Gottman Method. Kathryn’s aim is to facilitate stronger relationships that are not only equipped with the tools to manage any issues that may arise, but to expertly co-create, what she calls -  

The Couple’s Logo:

                            The intentional building of purpose and deeper meaning.

EFCT: What is it?

Kathryn is now an EFCT Therapist, (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy), as well. What is EFCT?

"Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT) is a structured approach to couples therapy formulated in the 1980s by Sue Johnson, Ph.D., who developed EFT along with Leslie Greenberg, Ph.D.. It focuses on the emotional connection between partners and aims to create secure and lasting bonds by addressing and transforming emotional responses."

How Does EFCT Work?

1. Assessment and De-Escalation: The therapist helps the couple understand their interaction patterns and how these patterns contribute to emotional disconnection.
2. Changing Interaction Patterns: Through guided conversations, the therapist assists the couple in expressing their underlying emotions and needs, fostering empathy and understanding between partners.
3. Consolidation and Integration: The therapist helps the couple develop new, positive ways of interacting, ensuring that the changes are sustained over time.

Benefits of EFCT:

• Better emotional functioning: EFT provides a language for healthy dependency between partners and looks at key moves and moments that define an adult love relationship. The primary goal of the model is to expand and re-organize the emotional responses of the couple.
• Stronger bonds: EFT is based on attachment theory, which suggests that attachments between people typically provide a safe place—a retreat from the world and a way to get comfort, security, and a buffer against stress.
  
• Improved interpersonal understanding: EFT helps people become more aware of their partner's needs. Because of this awareness, they can also listen and discuss problems from a place of empathy instead of a place of defensiveness or anger.
  
  Please click the link below to be directed to the ICEEFT website. You can find Kathryn's profile by searching her name under "Find a Therapist."                      

Kathryn was honored to be featured in the 2024 San Antonio Inspiring Woman Book. She was invited to be the guest speaker at the Inspiring Woman's Club luncheon in February 2024. The theme, of course, was "Love." Kathryn's successful presentation was on the Gottman Method.